Way to be...!!!

My friends have always called me a "Workaholic"... And I have, more often than not, taken pride on being called so. I have thought it's my specialty to run and yet not feel tired. I have thought it is such a wonderful feeling to complete my work over the weekend and show it up the next week day.. I have enjoyed the expression of awe on my peers when I do that. But within me, there is this deep voice that keeps saying, "Charan, don't worry you are working so much.. Don't worry that you'll miss those little things that have made you feel better. You can very well balance both these worlds... with Swami around you all the while!"

I have never been unhappy in my personal life. I have always enjoyed going thro the ups and downs... But at times, I feel my work eats up my personal space, time and self. And in such times, I look up to Swami and say, "Please handle this for me. I am feeling broken. Just rest in my heart.. let me know you are there. I'm a crank who, once in a while, wonders if you really do love me. Don't feel bad for it.. please!"

And in response, Swami gives me one strong shot of rejuvenation.. through situations I never anticipate... just like this weekend.

There are two things that I value the most next to my family and Swami.. Music and SVAP! (If you didn't understand what SVAP meant, please revisit my earlier posts!!) And I enjoyed showers of love and goodness from both over this weekend. A brilliant music programme for a unique occasion.. A dozen kids singing the tunes I had the privilege of teaching... When the programme ended, I felt I had just gotten back to living after 1 month of just "being"!

"Well, that's not enough!", Swami chided.. He gave me touching moments over dinner with SVAP. I have managed to answer my buddies, whatever they ask, and that too, to their satisfaction. But the dinner was kind of different.. They asked me simple questions I never knew answers for.. They told me little words to which I never knew how to react.. And in spite of all this, I was smiling with a couple of tears ready to roll off any moment. Flattery is not something I desire or deserve. But when I saw straight into each of those eyes that were looking at me, I felt I was being loved more than I had ever imagined. I probably didn't get up and hug them, but they knew I was doing it.. A hundred times all through...

I don't know why I'm writing this on a public wall. I thought I should write... do one of those "little" things that are inevitable for my "living". I don't know how my weekends ahead are going to be. But I know, that I'm being loved so much that these worries would lose in a tug-o-war.

Love...

Sri!