I wish I had Amaron batteries fitted onto my body.. "Lasts long.. really long!"
I sit and wonder these days how many times I would have told my dear ones that I'd never live a mundane life.. waking up at 6; bathing at 7; leaving to work at 8:30; get back home at 8; watching chat shows on TV for a couple of hours and then sleep off. Good heavens.. my life isn't like this. It's a lot worse! I seldom do the last three things I said. Somehow, I feel I have been losing connections to my own self.. Thanks to the cute lil flowers, the bubbly kids on the streets, the occasional laugh at work despite all stress and the more occasional family gossip.. for only in these situations, I feel my heart.. I feel a glimpse of real joy peeping in. At least, I'm "living" those moments...
I don't blame my work. That was my choice. I fought up to become a chartered accountant... to slog and prove. I know this is just a temporary tide... I wouldn't just "be" all life. And it doesn't mean I roamed arnd as a piece of science from Japan all these days. I have had my feelings, deep reflections, small incidents that impacted me big.
The one I've always wanted to write about was the new year eve celebrations. For the first time since my teens, I decided to spend my NY eve without bhajans... And guess what? I went for a rap concert in MGM Dizzee World... Pikachu was leaving abroad a day later and I badly wanted to spend time with SVAP. The start was fun! The moment we walked into the arena, I actually felt bad.. not cos I wasn't at home listening to my fav bhajans but seeing the youth crowd there and the crazy things they were upto. All drunk, most crazily dancing and a few even stripping their shirts off! They were probably "ENJOYING", they'd say! Well, I choose not to use the word for such action. I don't blame them. But I'm bothered...
I'm bothered we'd falsify the expectations placed on us. Brainy stat profs say India would have the largest youth population in the decade to come... India would be in a mad race against the world and become an economic super power. Indian youth would have the biggest roles to play in all spheres of the society..I trust the brains that told all these, with the very little logic mine carries! But, is the title "super power" all that we need to live and prosper? If money is all that counts, then we sure will rock! But if humanity, love, care and morality do matter, we will starve, a lot more than Somalia does, today. For we are slowly becoming self centred, paddled horses running on our own tracks just to be catching up with the materialistic world. How long would we run? Until we just stop for we do not know our destinations.
Well, if you are thinkin, "Is all fine, Sri?", guys.. "ALL IZZ WELL!" These writings keep me aware of the fact that I should never become one such paddled horse all life. I'm sure I won't though I actually am running now. It's okay to run but it's not okay to keep running. My days would change and I'd start living my heart out!
Love...
Sri!
