Monday, November 25, 2013

While in the dark, He always is!

It was a breezy Sunday night with a strange lull... I finished my day's routine and was walking back home,  late hours by Indian standards. The bhajans I had heard that evening, the one that I had sung were playing loops in my mind.

But, in all this silence, something within kept telling me there was someone just following my footsteps, like a a leopard stealthily tracking a deer. But I am no deer, bear in mind and if I am one, I am an exception - I confront than run! I stopped and turned around and saw this old man making slow yet confident steps towards me. He was no threat to me - I knew immediately, for he didn't hesitate a second to smile at me like he knew me for decades.

I felt quite like an (oxy)moron then I tell you, I did not know what reactions my body and mind were sending out. But I settled to smile back, and when I did, he said, "Can I join you until you reach?", in this loving authoritative voice! (Oxymoron, yeah?! )

I waited for him to come near me and trust me, he just wasn't impressive! Clothes a few years old, a beard untamed for more than a week, a bend that told me he must be late eighties and hair that spread out in every direction mentioned in a Mariner's compass. In spite of all this, there was something about him that made me listen to him... what,  I still haven't understood.

I pulled the emergency chain on my train of thoughts and responded, "Well, you can! But how do you know where I am going?!"

"Ha ha!! I just live around here... And I know you won't live past my area." I so much wished I give him mokka by going in a completely different direction from his house.

We walked in utter silence for a few minutes, with me guessing where he belonged to, and he smiling at the nasty pup sleeping by the road. After a few steps I asked, "You actually scared me, how long have you been following me?"

"Well, I have been following you for a long time. Rather not get lost in darkness. You have been guiding me!"

A sense of ego set in my mind and with a slight hint of pride, I said " What would've happened if I wasn't here? How would have you gone home?"

"I don't know... But I knew you will come this way."

Summa scene podraan paaren! "But how did you know I would come? Have you seen me here before?"

"Yes, I have. I have seen you around for a while now. I know you, don't you know me?!"

I was reminded of SV Shekhar's dialogue, "Ivaru periya Uganda naatu adhibaru", "No, I don't. I have been here for long too!" I responded in a pretty irritated tone.

He giggled and said, "If you haven't seen me, you probably haven't been seeing enough!! I catch your attention momentarily, don't you think?! Yet, you say you haven't seen me."

In all this, I saw two street dogs wagging their tails and circling his feet. He probably was right... Even the dogs seemed to know him.

A calm uneasiness set in me - for me, this man suddenly started sounding mystic, intriguing. He looks pauper, he speaks vague, but there sure was something I wasn't recognizing. But I did not feel like pursuing the conversation anymore - my mind built its defence of  my high rated personal image. And he seemed to know it.

"You would turn here, won't you? I got to keep heading straight. I will see you later, yet another dark night eh?!" he gave a wide grin and heaved forward.

Chills... People call it, though it heats up your brain up thro' the spine! Most people were (oxy)morons I was convinced! I waved bye at him, and said "Nice company! Have a good night!!"

"Yes I am good company!" he smiled and moved further. And as he moved, he was humming a tune that seemed so known to me...

I took my turn and opened the gates, still wondering what song he was humming... and as I entered my home,  I knew what it was... He was humming my favourite bhajan, the one I had sung that evening,
"Prem Ishwar hai, Ishwar Prem hai
Har Dhadkan mein Tu hi samaa hai
Ishwar Prem hai... "

And as I lay in bed, a flurry of thoughts flooded my mind about this unique encounter. And when I let all those thoughts settle, I saw in the calmness of the moment, what I had not known until then. And as dawn broke, it did break in me too... the hidden messages of my strange companion!

And if you are someone with deep trust in Him, get back and read the conversation for yourself!!

Deeply inspired by my heart's deepest desires and by "Conversations with God"...

Love, Sri!