Way to be...!!!

My friends have always called me a "Workaholic"... And I have, more often than not, taken pride on being called so. I have thought it's my specialty to run and yet not feel tired. I have thought it is such a wonderful feeling to complete my work over the weekend and show it up the next week day.. I have enjoyed the expression of awe on my peers when I do that. But within me, there is this deep voice that keeps saying, "Charan, don't worry you are working so much.. Don't worry that you'll miss those little things that have made you feel better. You can very well balance both these worlds... with Swami around you all the while!"

I have never been unhappy in my personal life. I have always enjoyed going thro the ups and downs... But at times, I feel my work eats up my personal space, time and self. And in such times, I look up to Swami and say, "Please handle this for me. I am feeling broken. Just rest in my heart.. let me know you are there. I'm a crank who, once in a while, wonders if you really do love me. Don't feel bad for it.. please!"

And in response, Swami gives me one strong shot of rejuvenation.. through situations I never anticipate... just like this weekend.

There are two things that I value the most next to my family and Swami.. Music and SVAP! (If you didn't understand what SVAP meant, please revisit my earlier posts!!) And I enjoyed showers of love and goodness from both over this weekend. A brilliant music programme for a unique occasion.. A dozen kids singing the tunes I had the privilege of teaching... When the programme ended, I felt I had just gotten back to living after 1 month of just "being"!

"Well, that's not enough!", Swami chided.. He gave me touching moments over dinner with SVAP. I have managed to answer my buddies, whatever they ask, and that too, to their satisfaction. But the dinner was kind of different.. They asked me simple questions I never knew answers for.. They told me little words to which I never knew how to react.. And in spite of all this, I was smiling with a couple of tears ready to roll off any moment. Flattery is not something I desire or deserve. But when I saw straight into each of those eyes that were looking at me, I felt I was being loved more than I had ever imagined. I probably didn't get up and hug them, but they knew I was doing it.. A hundred times all through...

I don't know why I'm writing this on a public wall. I thought I should write... do one of those "little" things that are inevitable for my "living". I don't know how my weekends ahead are going to be. But I know, that I'm being loved so much that these worries would lose in a tug-o-war.

Love...

Sri!

A day to remember...

Dated: 13 Aug 09

I think Keelu was right when he said, "This is your first milestone and you need to put it on record..." I haven't come into blogspace for real long now.. Probably due to the lack of the right mindset, work pressure or a hundred other reasons... But I thought I should write today... Not to let the readers know that I have become a Chartered Accountant today but to impress my feeling this moment onto this wall. I wish I never delete this post.

Early at 9 30 this morn, Rohit, my colleague at work, asked on the elevator, "Hey, so you are going to be a Chartered Accountant?" And that's when I actually got heated up and secreted more adrenaline straight into my head.. The panic button was switched on... And the only one Emergency alert key I knew was the right navigation key on my mobile phone! The Music player loaded with my most favourite bhajans filled some faith in me and I watched on in patience. The suspense unveiled and I came to know I had done it... Or rather I was made to do it. I called up my bro and said, "Dude, I'm a Chartered Accountant today" (Though technically not.. Lil more of internship pending).

Emotions enveloped me... My mom's voice over the phone - I heard her shed tears of joy and I felt I was being a repsonsible son giving her what she deserved (if not a lil less). The numerous calls from all acquaintances - The "Machi pikkara" from friends, "I'm happy for you" from my Admin staff, "I love you" from my kith and kin, "You deserved it Chief" from my juniors... I wasn't on Cloud nine... I was in fact walking on the ground floor for 2 whole hours. To be frank, I didn't feel the world turn around welcoming me; nor did I feel an additional medal pinned on my chest... My feeling was primarily gratitude and joy.. I remember telling one of my buddies, "Swami maela irundhu thooki pottaaru.. naan catch pudichittaen". Might sound silly.. But I seriously believe it.

Few things that touched my heart.. deep within.. The moment I saw many of my school friends change their status messages to "Charan is now CA"; the way my 94 yr old deaf grandpa picked the phone and said "Congratulations kanna"; the enthu in my grandma's voice when she said, "Rey Auditor!"; the pride in my dad's voice; the hug from Keelu and the lovely musical session with Ram. I knew God has been blessing me abundantly... But so much all in one day?! Mind blowing!!!

Love,
Sri...